Isnin, Januari 15, 2007

Blogger Bersatu! Ini Betul-betul, Bukan Cubaan...


Ini bukan cubaan! Ini betul-betul bersatu!

... ehehehe ... Cubaannnn... Mambang kuning, Mambang merah ... Mambang bahu, Mambang mancing, Mambang Golf, Mambang kandaq, Mambang .....

Ini bukan cubaan! Ini betul-betul orang marah.

Ana bersama-sama menyokong Rocky, Jeff Ooi, Sang Kelembai, Kickdefella, dan lain-lain blogger untuk kebebasan blogging. Harap ente semua guna logo ini untuk sama-sama bersatu untuk blogging.

Undur ... Lah!

Husin Lempoyang
Januari 15hb, 2007
Tempat ... hehehe tak boleh ceritalah, kita penembak curi

Khamis, Januari 11, 2007

Dolah Di Periksa Doktor


Dolah sangat penat pada akhir tahun 2006. Jadual beliau sungguh padat.

Beliau telah membuat lawatan rasmi ke Caracas, Venuzuela. Dalam perjalanan, dia berhenti di Turki. Selepas habis lawatan, dia baru dapat cuti 3 hari di Greece, tapi terpaksa pulang mengenangkan dan memantau rakyat yang dilanda banjir. Singgahlah dia selama 5 jam pada hari Krismas di Sri Gading, Batu Pahat, dan Jasin.

Sampailah dia untuk balik kampung petang Krismas di Perth. Itu pun jadual ketat. Besoknya, main golf. Lusa, deep sea fishing. Jumaat dan Sabtu, majlis dan pelancaran Restoren Nasi Kandar Puteri di Perth. Baru dapat rehat hari Ahad Raya Haji. Besok dia cadang nak periksa doktor kerana masa'alah tidor akibat banyak sangat pergi majlis.

Hari Isnin tu, Dolah pun pergi ke Hospital. Sampai ke tingkat 5, Dolah keluar lif, jalan sedikit dan masuk terus ke bilek Doktor dengan ADC nya. Ia disambut dengan layanan baik dan mesra dan dijemput dudok. Selepas perbualan kecil dan beberapa pertanyaan, Doktor Omputih to nak mulakan pemeriksaan.

Diambilnya jangkasuhu untuk dimasukkan mulut Dolah, tapi Dolah tak mahu buka mulut dan arah selit celah ketiak. Doktor menerangkan, "That is for babies only. It won't be accurate for adults." Dolah masih berdegil. Terpaksalah Doktor mengikut kehendaknya. Hairan Doktor, kenapa susah sangat.

Setelah selesai pemeriksaan, dia mengarahkan Dolah pergi ke bilek X-ray. Semasa Dolah di luar bilek, Doktor menahan ADCnya untuk bertanya masaalah tadi. ADC menjawab, "He is shy because he has fork tongue". Barulah Doktor tahu Dolah lidah bercabang.

Kita di Malaysia sedia maklum dah.

Bagi yang masih belum, baca ini dari siri No. 1 ke No. 14 dan seterusnya di Cuit-Cuit Sikit.

Selasa, Januari 02, 2007

'Mee Rebus Rempit' and 'Nasi AirAsia', Please.

Nasi AirAsia: ... looks suspicously like plain white rice
(Photo taken from Inmagine)



By Brian Yap
New Straits Times Press
21 September, 2006

WHILE Malaysian cuisine can hardly be considered the most inventive, a visit to your neighbourhood Mamak restaurant or Gerai Tomyam would reveal a few surprises. Many of these popular eateries feature dishes that might be born from traditional recipes, but have been given a slightly different, and novel, twist.

I’ve tried Roti Pizza (Roti Canai, topped with ingredients like ketchup, sausages and mixed vegetables; no good), Teh Ais blended (the usual drink, but thrown in blender and costs three times the price; not bad) and Nasi Goreng USA (fried rice, but with udang, sotong and ayam; quite good).

I’ve also seen, from a distance, Roti KLCC; scary twin towers made of Roti Canai dough, complete with a connecting sky bridge. Even scarier: it was an adult who ordered it.

Some of these dishes are more about novelty than taste, but they do offer a nice change from the usual fare. Here are some of the more creative ones I’ve come across:

Thosai MBPJ: Same as the usual thosai, but shaped like a billboard, complete with branding marks made with a special griddle. Despite the additional revenue, however, these thosai are still priced above the regular ones.

Roti Mawi: Don’t tell anyone, but it’s just regular Roti Canai. But since it’s endorsed by the popular singer, his legion of fans rush out to order it anyway.

Mee Goreng Sepet: Noodles stir-fried with a mix of Chinese and Malay ingredients. Culinary purists, would refuse to eat it, saying it corrupts individual cuisine. Some might even go as far as labelling it "pencemar makanan".

Mee Rebus Rempit: I don’t think this is new, but has suddenly become popular. The mee is served first, followed by an acrobatic chef pouring hot gravy over it while doing all sorts of acrobatic stunts. A few accidents have happened before, prompting authorities to clamp down on the dish. But until today, it is still served openly.

Roti Kuala Lumpur: Roti Canai torn to pieces, covered in a messy slop of dhal curry. It used to be called Roti Banjir, but restaurants decided the new name was a little more unique, and just as apt.

Roti Baghdad: A spin-off from Roti Kuala Lumpur, except that it’s half the portion size, and covered in sambal instead of dhal.

Ikan Bakar Steve Irwin: Some tasteless restaurateurs have decided to profit from the Crocodile Hunter’s death. It’s grilled stingray, in case you haven’t figured that out.

Sup Nazri: Essentially, a soup made with cupfuls of cili padi. Always served boiling hot. It’s so hot, many have walked out of the restaurant in protest.

Nasi AirAsia: For those on a budget, this very, very affordable rice dish is an ideal meal. The only downside is it often takes hours to arrive, and looks suspiciously like plain white rice.

Teh Tarik Special: This is the same sweet beverage we all know and love, but now with sugar being such a premium product, it is now rebranded, complete with a higher price.

Naan George Bush: Very, very large piece of naan that threatens to cover all the other dishes ordered.

Kari Tony Blair: Beautiful-looking but bland curry that is served only as an accompaniment to Naan George Bush. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it on its own. Some restaurants call it Kari John Howard.

Mee Goreng Siti: One of the most ornate dishes I have seen at a mamak restaurant. Served on fine bone China, and prepared with the finest imported ingredients. Used to be available in single portions, but is now served only for two.

Roti Singapura: Slices of white bread neatly arranged on a plate, served only with pre-approved accompaniments.

Those seeking to add different flavours could have their food taken away from them.

Nasi Goreng Politikus: It’s a cake baked with kaya.... oh, did I say nasi goreng? No I didn’t. I was misquoted by the Press. And no, I won’t apologise for what I said. - NSTP


Off course, lets not forget the "Roti Pak Lah" and "Roti Mahathir" joke circulating. Yes, one is the common Roti Canai Kosong and the other is your ubiquitous fast disappearing breed of Roti Canai Bertelor. I'm sure you can figure out, which is for which ... hehehe

Isnin, Januari 01, 2007

Anugerah Filem Maya 2006

Dengan berakhirnya tahun 2006, pelbagai anugerah untuk pelbagaian pencapaian akan diberikan. Persatuan Pengusaha-Pengusaha Filem Maya Malaysia sedang menerima pencalonan untuk pelbagai kategori anugerah.

Banyak filem-filem telah dicadangkan namun, hanya beberapa cadangan saja diterima untuk kategori-kategori lakonan. Pihak pengurusan hanya menerima pencalonan untuk kategori Pelakun Lelaki Terbaik dan Bintang Harapan Lelaki Terbaik.

Pelakun Terbaik jatuh kepada Abdullah Ahmad Badawi dalam lakunannya sebagai Perdana Menteri Malaysia dalam filem "Cemerlang, Gemilang, dan Terbilang: The Imam Islam Hadhari Story".

Lakunan luar biasa Abdullah adalah dalam membawa watak seorang Perdana Menteri yang sering pelupa dan lucu yang dipimpin oleh Menantunya. Adegan dibawah adalah salah satu adegan-adegan dalam filem yang beliau cuba membuat penafian-penafian ke-atas salah lakunya.

Manakala, Bintang Harapan Lelaki Terbaik jatuh kepada Khairy Jamaluddin yang kononnyabukan Pembimbing dan Penasihat kepada Perdana Menteri dalam filem yang sama mendapat percalonan. Lakonan Khairy yang lebih baik adalah babak tangisan dalam filem "Rasputin Malaysia: The road to Premiership".

Kami ingin mencalonkan Dato Seri Anwar untuk anugerah Seniman Agong. Beliau telah memenangi pelbagai anugerah lakonan lepas-lepas. Antara watak-watak yang telah dibawanya adalah sebagai Timbalan Perdana Menteri Malaysia, Imam dangdut, dan lain-lain.

Namun, beliau akan sentiasa diingati kerana watak seorang yang sakit dan hampir cacat. Clip video lakonan beliau dalam filem "Penaik Kerusi Roda" itu boleh dimainkan di sini.

Cerita jenaka ini di ambil dari Forum MyKMU. Terima kasih pembicara-pembicara, khususnya BudakJB dan CucuWakTelu.