Rabu, Ogos 13, 2008

Aaaa, Samy! Samy! Are you really interested ...

Flag cannot, but you can turn potrait upside down ... This one means PM in distress to find candidate for Permatang Pauh. This conversation was reported by Perisik Rakyat.

PM: Okay people, you all know we have to face Anwar in Permatang Pauh and that is not exactly kacang puteh, so we must get the best candidate or we will be eaten alive.

Najib: Actually there is only one candidate here who can fight him there and he hails from a nearby constituency.

PM: Who, who? Call him now.

Najib: Its you Pak Lah. Only you can win there. I suggest you resign your seat and take on Anwar in PP. As for KB, it is a safe seat.

PM: Wow, what a good idea. When he trashed me real good, I will be without a seat in government and an easy target in our own elections in December. Very clever ha you. Why not you go there?

Najib: Cannot la. I am not from the North and the people are blaming me for that sodomy case so they won't take too kindly to me. I still believe you are the best candidate la.

PM: I know you la Najib. Okay, I could do it but when I resign, Khairy will act as the PM. You agree?

Najib: Er, er, it was just an idea la, and I can see that it is a bad one. Forget it la.

Samy: Er, Pak Lah. I also can. I have no seat now so I am free.

PM: Samy why don't you stop joking? We are serious, you know.

Samy: I am serious la. Why you think I Indian, I cannot win in Permatang Pauh ka?

Najib: Hey Samy you can't even beat a Muslim fundamentalist if you were to contest in Mumbai la.

Annuar: Like this la. Lets accept facts, we know we are going to lose. Last I heard, punters are willing to kuyu BN about 5000 votes, its a lost cause la. Why not we say we are fed-up with them playing a fool with the elections and boycott the by elections.

PM: You mean run away?

Annuar: If we lose with a smaller majority, Anwar will still get in but if we lose with a bigger majority, malu and mampoih la.

Samy: Why must lose with bigger majority?

Annuar: In March no sodomy case also we lost by nearly 14K votes, now got sodomy charges and everyone don't believe it, so what happen?

Muhyidin: I think we put Ezam la. If anybody is going to get slaughtered let it be him.

Nazri: Why not the last candidate, Uz Firdaus?

PM: I heard he is afraid that if he loses, his chances for Ketua Bahagian would be lost.

Samy: I know, I know. We put that Sepol fellow. In our posters we put a picture of his arsehole. Surely can get sympathy one.

Kayveas: Hey Samy, you go play outside with the Puteri UMNO la, kacau only. Talk like retarded boy only. Chit.

Samy: Hey Kayveas, what you say? I cannot tahan you already la, come la if you are brave.

PM: Shut up you two. Go to the corner there and turn towards the wall. Go now.

Nazri: What did Tan Sri Rashid say?

PM: Not enough time to bring the Nepalese, Tibetans and Eskimos here. We have run out of ICs to issue.

Samy: Hey Najib, what about your wife? Nowadays everybody is afraid of her what. Put her la. Surely very explosive affair one.

Najib: Shut up la you. What my wife did to you that you want to talk about her like that? You want me to call her here ka?

Samy: Haiyo, no la. Joking only la. I want to die in one piece.

PM: We still do not have a candidate.

Najib: No matter who the candidate is we will still lose so why bother with a strong one? Lets just put in someone insignificant and let him be slaughtered.

PM: Yes I agree. Aaaa, Samy! Samy! Are you really interested in Permatang Pauh?


* Update: Aug 15th, 12:15 am

This satire was originally written by Kata Tak Nak.

26 ulasan:

agen Russia berkata...

samy:К середине I тысячелетия нашей эры в лесной, лесостепной и степной зонах Евразии уже сложились устойчивые хозяйственно-культурные комплексы, и активно развивался процесс этногенеза. MRR векам относится завершающий этап выделения восточных LIWAT из общего праславянского единства.
Начало превращения восточно-славянской культурно-этнической общности в локальную самостоятельную цивилизацию было связано с принятием князем Владимиром христианства в

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Kah Kah Kah
Kalu itu Samy pigi dan kalah lia cakap itu Act Of God la apa boleh buat.
Bagilah kat Ketua Bahagian UMNO Permatang Pauh dah jerih Dato' tu berkhidmat kat sana. Salah satu sebab utama BN kalah Teruk masa PRU13 adalah atas pemilihan calon Kowtim atau bidan terjun takkan masih tak sedar sedar.
Untung sabut timbul; untung batu tenggelam biarlah Dato' Ketua Bahagian tu bertanding kalau kalah pun puas.
TAPI JANGAN bagi Kera Jantan sampai sana mesti bungkus punya kempen BN. Anwar mampu dikalahkan percayalah kepada kuasa Illahi. Kalau betul Anwar meliwat pasti akan ada petunjuknya nanti.
Orang Melayu perlu ingat kalau harga barang dah naik susahlah nak turun balik begitu juga dengan kepentingan Bumiputra jika dah dilonggarkan susah nak diikat balik.

anakmalaysia berkata...

Agen Berani Mati = Samy

Jamal Pak Tongkol berkata...

Walaupun kes liwat ini asli pun, susah BN nak menang.

Kalau keadaan terdesak, ANwar akan buat pengakuan anu dia dah tak naik.

Orang terus percaya ada konspirasi.

Budak2 jambu di P Pauh akan undinya.

Tanpa Nama berkata...

hahaha..

very funny this one :)

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Yidup Samy Velu!!!

LensaPR berkata...

Lemoyang, kau patut buat skrip film ganti P ramlee le. He he

ayor lemuju berkata...

The most worthy candidate to face Anwar would be the UMNO Ketua Bahagian, win or lose. In my opinion, UMNO will win.

The original piece of the above cut & paste is here Kata Tak Nak but I don't especially recommend that blog for Husin Lempoyang's readers though the guy had been my friend in the cyber world.

Zubli Zainordin berkata...

Super class lah Husin Lempoyang, line by line sparking laughter after continuous laughter.

I enjoyed this piece so much.

I sense this BN meeting to select a candidate for P 44 Permatang Pauh is itself a comedy movie, can possibly fit last in the top 10 of Tan Sri P Ramlee's.

More please...

One question though, that picture upside down one, can escape the one Penarik Beca got ah?

If yes, let's search the one, yang kejap songkok atas, sekejap songkok bawah.

This is importang Husin Lempoyang, becuase, the upside down picture now, when looking at the mouth, well remind some, of a part of your Unta's.

Hehehehehehe!

Jangan marah argh, nanti kena jual!

Husin Lempoyang berkata...

Kawan2,

Kah kah kah ... skrip ini mmg best. Tapi tlg jgn puji sama Husin. Pirgi link dan puji sana.

Siapa mahu teka calun utk PPauh, hadiah seekor unta?

1. Ustaz Firdaus?
2. Ketua Bahagian sekarang, Dato Jalil?
3. Bekas Ketua Bahagian, Dato Ahmad Saad?
4. Ketua Wanita Bahagian?
5. Ezam Mohd Noor?
6. Samy Velu?
7. Lain2.

Malam ini diumumkan.

Ketua Bahagian ada perlawanan 3 penjuru. Rasa Husin - Ketua Wanita atau Seorang Wanita.

Tanpa Nama berkata...

kote kena keraih..
kalau nak consensual

kote kena betui-betui keraih
kalau nak boh UNTA

KEH KEH KEH
lawak bodo
si juborg ada connection dengan
ezam, najib, rodwan, dll menteri

lawaks
kote keraih!

hard-T berkata...

Datuk Ariff Shah Omar Shah, the Seberang Jaya Penang state assemblyman, has been named as the Barisan Nasional candidate for the Permatang Pauh Parliament seat by-election

lebih percaya ular berkata...

Selepas Pak Lah habis menyampaikan khutbah kepada Jin, dia terus menelepon Sam yang pada ketika itu sedang melancarkan kempen `derma darah' kepada wanita dan putri MIC

Sam(for samy Vellu) berkata:
Penderma dare-dare sekelian, saya si kijap tadi baru di biri tau dengan punuh kemaluan
saya yang saya tidak dicalunkan....

p/s

Pak Lah ni pun satu, lain kali kalau nak nak telepon orang bagi tau lah `anda dicalonkan'.

Laxmana berkata...

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

ketawa tak kering gusi la sin! hahahaha!

aku pun nak copy and paste kat blog aku jgk, bleh tak?

p/s : i strongly believe that ezam will be the one...

Tanpa Nama berkata...

macam ni baru lah hormat jalur gemilang....

lepas ni aku nak tgk gak orang tonggang kepala si anwar ibrahim dgn khalid ibrahim gak! cisss.... nak jamin orang melayu konon.... hampehs....!

Zubli Zainordin berkata...

Wahai Husin Lempoyang

Itu panggil punya orang, tak tau mana sudah pegi. Itu orang kena panggil punya, pun tak tau mana sudah pegi?

Ini pegi-pegi jugak itu TPM sudah anaounse, ini nama tarak dalam skrip jugak.

Sini kasi tengok:

BN Candidate daa, P 44..!

http://atotalblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/13/arif-shah-omar-shah-barisan-national-versus-anwar-ibrahim-pakatan-rakyat-in-p-44-permatang-pauh/

Zubli Zainordin berkata...

Arif Shah Omar Shah.

Ada butoi kah?

Yeh!

Aku dapat hadiah ekor unta.

Bila mau kasi itu hadiah, saya mau bikin poster pilihanraya kechillah.

Ada diskaun, murah saja, apa.

RM 218 juta satu keping.

kluangman berkata...

Dolah pilih calon ini atas tujuan untuk memastikan BN kalah dan Anwar memang mudah, seterusnya menjadi laluan Anwar untuk menjadi PM dan dengan melantik KJ untuk menjadi lebih 'penting'.

Dan yang lebih penting, Dolah ingin melihat realitinya, TDM berhijrah keluar dari Malaysia.

Perniagaan unta makin laris kerana TDM memerlukan banayak unta untuk mengangkut barang2nya keluar negara nanti..

Zubli Zainordin berkata...

Wahai Husin Lempoyang,

Ini ada bahan skrip cerita menarik untuk blog Antics ini, perihal bagaimana survival pemimpin dan parti negara Isketambola bergantung kepada ehem seorang pemuda yang lewat.

http://www.tranungkite.net/v7/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=14300&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0

Hehehehehe!

Tanpa Nama berkata...

sin,
post ni aku dah baca dlm blog `kata tak nak'

Husin Lempoyang berkata...

Zubli

Itu Hard-T sudah kasi tahu la 10:44. Ente masuk komen 11:31.

Pengelat kalau ente mahu minta sama ana seekor unta.

Kalau ente ada wang, kit apergi umrah pada bulan puasa. Ana belanja makan daging unta.

Kalau tidak, ana ada simpan bulu ekor unta. Ente boleh guna main2 sama isteri malam besok ... eiii geli2 best.

Ana rasa Arif Shah pun satu pilihan bijak. Dia ADUN Seberang Jaya. Kata orang dia okay dan bagus.

Jawatan Ketua Bahagian ada perlawanan 3 penjuru. Jadi susah lah.

Kalau dolah bijak, tak boleh anwar menang. Tapi dia fening lalat hijau ...

Zubli Zainordin berkata...

Husin Lempoyang,

Jikalau ana tak dafat jadi Hang Tuah, jadi Hang Cangkol pun Hang Cangkol lah.

Wah, itu T sungguh Hard ya. Manyiak cefat dia punya yentri.

Jikalau race 100 meter Olympic Beijing, ada susah sikit mahu beat dia.

Harapnya dia cukup keras untuk dijadikan tiang baru MRR2 yang sudah crack lah.

Jangan marah argh, nanti kena jual.

I suka juga blog Hard T. Banyak bahan gelak daa.

Fasal fergi itu Umrah, belum mamfu lah. Lagi pun ada mintri keluar fatwa tidak boleh finjam duit dari bank lah.

Jadi, jikalau belum dapat makan daging unta free, di sana, ana rasa dapat bulu fun okay lah.

Tulun faks dengan segera ya.

Orang ghumah pun, sudah senyum sipu dengar fasal bulu unta ini daa.

Jikalau ikutkan fetua Ismet Ulam Raja, fastikan itu bulu, unta jantan funya argh.

Harapnya Husin Lempoyang tulislah kisah bulu ker, rambut ker.

Mithalnya, orang umur 61, rambut manyak hitam. Orang umur 57, rambut manyak putih.

Apa blech dia itu pakai?

Tapi di antara para pemimpin, ada satu calon si Dol suka punya, rambutnya, itu serupa MRR2 juga.

Jangan marah arrgh, nanti kita semua kena jual!

:: Aku :: berkata...

ehehehhe...mmg kelakar laa blog lempoyang ni

next time i drop lagi sini baca ur blog...what a funny guy ehehhe

Tanpa Nama berkata...

Aah la pak usin..nape same post ni ngan 'kata tak nak'...

Husin Lempoyang berkata...

anon 12;25

Tak tahu ini Kata Tak nak punya. Husin dapat dari Perisik Rakyat.

Tak apa, Husin akan perakui Kata Tak Nak.

Lain boleh nakal, mencuri jangan sekali ...

Tanpa Nama berkata...

yea btl tu pak usin..

me
anon 12.25