Pilihanraya Kecil Ijok: Keadaan Tegang Di Batang Berjuntai

Disebabkan persaingan yang agak runcing dalam pilihanraya kecil Ijok, maka satu pesanan amaran telah disebarkan di Ijok oleh pihak tertentu.

Pesanan SMS nya adalah seperti berikut:

"Kaum wanita dinasihatkan tidak pergi ke IJOK buat masa sekarang kerana BATANG BERJUNTAI dalam keadaan TEGANG."

Nampak tak betapa TEGANG keadaannya.

Orang pompuan ni jangan berani-berani.

Ani ...!!!! Mak dan suami ko suroh balik! Banyak TEGANG tu!

P/S Terimakasih kepada Another Brick in the Wall

I Hope THEY Say is Correct

It started from a scoop but MSM (mainstream media) was still quiet. Then, a journo-blogger posted it. A Siam-based amoi Malaya blogger whacked and whacked. NAB boss post the police report. The ladies are mad as hell! Abuse! Abuse!

Now it seem there is a coverup. Aiya! One "apek sudah bising". MSM publish report.

People are clamouring for blood (justice). Enough with corruption and abuse!

Those days THEY say the complain of corrupton and abuse were on "raja-raja". After the constitutional crisis, THEY say the "pembesar-pembesar ganti raja-raja". Seeing whats happenning, THEY say the "orang kerajaan tumpang sekaki".

To circumvent the "orang kerajaan", we had privatisation. Then, THEY say, "saudagar tibai keliling lagi terok". Now THEY say no more Napoleans, but its the young up and coming "pembesar-pembesar muda".

There are those that understand a different picture. And that see the big picture.

Leave it to me, Husin Lempoyang, the Camel Merchant from Cairo that sold the two Abdul slave to Jamal Pak Tongkol, for wisdom.

I say, thats good progress and I hope THEY is right. Next will be the "rakyat" 's turn for a hand on corruption and abuse.

... muahaha muahaha hahaha haha haha ha ha ha ...

Justice for all???!!!! Or perhaps THEY are wrong?

Husin Lempoyang is wise.

Whose the Boss?

To Woody Allen, the one holding the TV Channel Control is the boss in the family. Raja Petra has a different say as he retell this joke:

One day all the parts of the body held a meeting to decide who should become the boss. The brain claimed that it was the smartest so it should be the boss. The eyes said that it does all the seeing so it should be the boss. The ears said it does all the hearing so it should be the boss. The mouth said it does all the talking and eating so it should be the boss. The heart said it pumps the blood that gives life so it should be the boss. The lungs said it does all the breathing that makes life possible so it should be the boss.

And this went on with all the parts of the body shouting and disagreeing as to who should be the boss. Suddenly, while all this argument was going on, they heard a squeak from the bottom. They all stopped arguing and every part of the body fell silent. “What’s that again?” asked the brain.

“What about me? Can I be the boss?” It was the arse hole joining the debate as to who should be the boss.

When all the parts of the body heard this they all fell down laughing. They could not stop laughing. The eyes were watering with laughter. The wax from the ears popped out because of the uncontrollable laughter. The mouth laughed so furiously that it accidentally bit the tongue. The tongue was bleeding profusely but it felt no pain because it was laughing until the throat could no longer produce any sound. This laughter went on for a full ten minutes and the entire body rocked and shaked like it was being hit by the greatest earthquake in history.

But the arse hole did not join in the laughter. It kept very silent. It was very angry and hurt. When all the parts of the body had regained their composure the brain said, “You are just an arse hole. You cannot be the boss. Arse holes can never be the boss.”

When the arse hole heard this it became real mad, hoping mad, mad as hell. It said, “Oh yeah. Then let me show you who the boss is.”

From thereon the arse hole clammed up and refused to open any longer. It shut very tight and would not talk to all the other parts of the body - what the Malays would call merajuk. For many, many days no shit could pass through. After a week the brain started getting very groggy. The eyes became so watery it could no longer see. The heart started beating so softly you could no longer detect its beat. The lungs became so short of breath that oxygen was no longer being sent to the blood. It was now apparent that the entire body was dying.

Finally, all the parts of the body admitted defeat and ceded that the arse hole is the most powerful part of the body and should be made the boss. So they called another meeting and all the parts of the body unanimously agreed to appoint the arse hole as the boss, proving once and for all that all you need to be is an arse hole to become boss.

Thats an in-your-face reality check. Now I understand better the real reason AAB scare off party members from voicing the concern of the people and even disrespect for the man that put him there. A Kadir Jasin saw what made the clamp up effective.

Those that don't clean up after ... ak ak ... means you have no respect for the boss ... hehe ... yuck.

Cara mengelak disaman bila kereta ditahan polis

Husin: Helo. Ran, ekau donga tak pasal Musa kata tak payah DEB untuk seluroh Johor?

Azran: Tak do

Husin: Ini baru berapa jam, Bloomberg kelua di Internet Musa mintak dikecualikan polisi Bumiputera untuk WPI dan JOhor selurohnya.

Azran: Ah ... Muso. Kan aku dah cakap dari dulu.

Husin: Haram jadah anak haram si Musa. Pembelot pada rakyat Johor. Memang Musa ni layak di panggil derhaka. rela dia bercakap demikian.

Azran: Ah ... Muso. Apa jaso dia pada Malaysia? RISDA? Alah ... dia cuma lancarkan saja. Dia tahu kritik dan cakap. Dia memang political animal. ... Alamak aku kena tahan.

Husin: Kau tengah driving ke?

Azran: Aku baru nak masuk Subang Jaya dari Federal Highway.

Husin: Sori lah.

Azran: Nanti aku call.

Setelah 15 minit kemudian, Azran talipon balik.

Azran: Sin, aku lepas lah.

Husin: Kau lepas? Selamat RM120 ni. Mcam mana ekau buak?

Azran: Polis tu tahan, aku cakaplah kau talipon beritahu pasal apa Muso cakap. Aku pun tambahlah pasal Dolah, Khairy, Shahrir dan lain2. Polis tu sambung pulak ... eh itulah saya dengar2 di balai. Masaalah pemimpin kita ni. Aku siap nasi tambah ... ini masaalah kita ni. Dah lah Islam di persoalkan, Polis nak di gari dari kerja pakai IPCMC. Penghabisannya hak Melayu nak dilucutkan. Padahal mempersoalkan Islam dan Melayu tu bawah Akta menhasut. ... Cehhh aku kasi lagi hot. Polis tu siap jawab ... memang susahkan kami aja IPCMC. Gini sajalah bang, baik jalan aja. Ada kereta lain dah berhenti ni. Lepas aku ...

Husin: Wah ... marah betul polis dengan kepimpinan kita. Sampai kasi kau lepas pasal kau tak setuju dengan Pak Lah. Kalau gitu aku nak tampal kat kereta ... Say No to IPCMC ... hehehe ... speedign tak kena tangkap.